I’m SICK of A-Rod news, but I had this blog in the back of my mind for a day or so now and just wanted to get it out. I promise, this is the final A-Rod blog!
I’m not a doctor or psychologist, but it’s fun to act like I am. So, I’ve carefully studied Alex. I was able to figure out just what was in that frosted tips head of his.
Why he turned to Steroids
Alex has what we faux psychologist like to call, Tri-phobia-itis. I’ve diagnosed Alex with 3 common phobias. His extreme phobias drove him to steroids. We really cannot blame him for his use. He simply has a disorder.
1. Atelophobia – Fear of imperfection.
It has been well documented that Alex likes to shop for all the latest in men’s fashion. He frosts his hair, excessively works out, and I assume he does some manscaping. Alex was driven to steroids so that he could get closer to what he believes to be perfection.
2. Atychiphobia – Fear of failure.
We shouldn’t be afraid of failure, after all, it is inevitable. However, Alex has been searching for his first World Series ring since the 1994 season. He has yet to win a World Series and he’s not getting any younger. Clearly, Alex was drove to steroids because he feared he would fail again at winning a World Series.
3. Athazagoraphobia– Fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting.
When you think of the New York Yankees what name comes to mind? …Derek Jeter. When you think of the Boston Red Sox what name comes to mind? … David Ortiz. When you think of the Orioles, what name comes to mind? … Cal Ripken Jr. (who is in Charlotte tonight FYI).
What does all this mean? Well, for an established player like Alex, he’s switched teams a few times. He wasn’t able to settle into a team like the guys mentioned above have been able to. Alex is worried that his name is not going to be synonymous with one team. He was driven to steroids because he fears not being remembered. He was basically pushed into steroids so he could get a long term contract with a team.
FINAL WHISPER: While I was working on Alex’s case, I did learn that Alex definitely does not have Trypanophobia (fear of injections). With all this research and long hours of studying Alex, I also learned that I have Hellenologophobia (fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology).
Baseball Nerdish as Always,
It’s been exactly 4 days since my last post. Nope, I’m not neglecting my responsibility as a blogger… I was busy conducting a social experiment concerning A-Rod.
My “experiment” first started out as just my way of facing the “media” myself then the idea of a social experiment came to mind.
Sunday, on “A Show of Their Own” we interviewed Jane Heller and began to discuss how baseball is more than just a sport to a lot of people. It’s an escape from all the gloom and doom people face in their everyday lives.
I was very bummed out about the news concerning Alex. How could this be happening to me again? It wasn’t enough that my favorite pitcher took HGH… Everything is just piling up.
So, I wrote to all of you and shared my opinion on how Alex should address the media and his fans in a prompt manner so we can all “move on.”
Well, as a Yankee fan, I felt it was time for me to come clean; to face the music and my peers. I didn’t want to throw my A-Rod shirt away because of this. I decided I should get the ridicule over with fast by wearing my A-Rod shirt everywhere on Tuesday.
I figured if people were going to say something to me, I might as well get it over with that way when Opening Day comes I can wear my A-Rod shirt (if I so choose).
*** NOTE: NONE of this is made up. All the conversations are real, just edited for your reading pleasure and so MLBlogs will continue to let me post on here. I even took my little voice recorder I use when I’m interviewing people for the school newspaper so I wouldn’t forget anything.
Day One (Monday): I wore a Yankees shirt without a player’s name on it.
I went to class. Strolled around campus just waiting for someone to say something. Then I went to the mall to stroll around. I walked around in every sporting goods store there was. I figured if someone was going to say something it would be in a sporting goods store. I went with a cocky shirt, hoping that someone would say something about our WS championships..
Day One Results: I passed 13 guy who gave me a “Oh my gosh, this girl isn’t for real” look. Only one stranger actually said something to me. Our convo went like this.
MAN: Did you see what that Yankee player did?
ME: Yes, sir I did.
MAN: Do you believe him
ME: Yes. Do you?
MAN: Well, I just think its good he came clean. So, you still supporting him I reckon.
ME: Yes, at least for 9 more years.
MAN: (Walked away puzzled… wondering why I picked 9 years)
Day Two (Tuesday): I wore my Alex Rodriguez shirt.
Again, I went to class. I walked all around campus knowing someone would start something. I went to another mall, with the biggest sporting goods store in it. I went out to dinner with a friend at a sports café type place. I made sure to get up and walk around so people would see my shirt. I wore my hair up also, just so there was no question who I was representing with my shirt.
Day Two Results: Everyone, even the prissy girls and sissy boys who only know A-Rod because of the whole Madonna thing were giving me evil glares. 4 people came up to me and said something. 7 people yelled curse words at me from across the room/road. My favorite was this man (wearing a John Rocker/Braves shirt) who came up to me with his son (who was wearing shorts, a Braves t-shirt, and cleats). I assume the kid just got back from baseball practice. Here was our convo:
MAN: Ma’am, I hate to be rude, but you do know that man on the back of
your shirt did steroids don’t you.
ME: Yes sir, I do.
MAN: Well, I think he’s setting the wrong example for my kid.
ME: Oh, so your son is a Yankees fan (just being a jerk for the fun of it)
MAN: (Bleep) no! I hate them (Beeping) Yankees. A-Rod is a horses (bleep) for taking steroids. He has young fans, how is my son supposed to compete with boys doing steroids?
ME: Well sir, I don’t think your son is playing against A-Rod tomorrow, but I understand your opinion. It does suck that our heroes are, in fact, human. They make mistakes, but as a fan, I’ve got to support my team. Parents should set an example for their children and not rely
on celebrities to raise their kids.
MAN: Even if that means supporting a man who is exactly what’s wrong
with everything in sports.
ME: Alex didn’t create steroids and he’s not the only athlete to use
steroids. He’s just the only notable player on the list.
MAN: Well, its just the wrong message to send to kids.
ME: I know, thank god for prejudice athletes like John Rocker.
MAN: He ain’t prejudice, he just tells it like it is.
ME: Have you ever been to New York?
ME: ok then… (I walked off, sensing that I had made the man mad
Another favorite was this 20 year old guy (who has 3 classes with me) who decided that he wasn’t man enough to say something to my face, so he starts chanting “Cheater, Cheater, Cheater” behind me as I walked to my car. I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, so I decided to do what any girl would have done, I turned around and gave him the “stink eye.” Well, that was just fuel for him… he then started chanting “Roid Rage, Roid Rage, Roid Rage.” Even though he was a chicken for not saying something to my face, I have to give the guy credit for his creativity.
Day Three (Wednesday): I wore a Derek Jeter shirt today.
I wondered if people would react better to Jeter, since he has not (to the public’s knowledge) tested positive for steroids. Isn’t sad that I had to type what’s in parenthesis? You just don’t know anymore, but that doesn’t make me like or dislike baseball. Once again, I walked around campus proudly sporting my Jeter gear. I even wore my Derek Jeter seam bracelet. I went to an early movie and to a local (small) sporting goods store.
Day Three Results: People reacted positively to my Jeter shirt. Two women came up to me and said they were Braves fans, but they “absolutely adored Derek Jeter.” They told me that they were mad at A-Rod, but glad Jeter is a “prince.” Yes, they said prince. I still got a few evil looks, but not nearly the amount I got during Day Two. It was sort of an uneventful day. Maybe the news had worn off a bit…
FINAL WHISPER: I faced the music and now feel like I can put this behind me and wear whatever I want to the ballpark this year. What did my experiment teach us? I concluded that people love Jeter, end of story.
Baseball Nerdish as Always,
Not much has changed since he’s come to the Yankees; has it?
I’m being punished. The baseball “gods” are punishing me for getting up during the October 5th game against the Indians in the ALDS. I knew I shouldn’t have moved, it’s against my superstitions! Soon after I left my seat, a swarm of midges harped over the Jake. I thought my punishment ended there, but obviously losing the series was just another reminder that I blew it for us. Now this… it’s all my fault.
Why else would this happen to me?
My week hasn’t been too bad this week. Much better compared to the last.
The chaos of The Yankee Years had finally started to go away, so what do those great writers at the newspapers in NY do? Well, they have a job to do, so they come up with a story to write. So, they write about Derek Jeter and his impeding doom as a player. Sure, he’s getting older, but I’d like to think Jeter could play short until he turns 100. I just cannot imagine a Yankees game without Jeter on the field or in the dugout, but I know that time will come. I just don’t want to be reminded about it every time I open a newspaper!
A-Rod. Or A-Fraud, I guess that’s a better way to address him. I can’t believe this. I actually had a conversation with my parents a week ago about A-Rod. We were arguing about Barry Bonds and I was all up on my high horse sticking up for Alex. Parent know best (I guess it’s true)… my mom and dad both fought me on that they said Alex was on ‘roids, no question… I guess after the let down of Giambi, Pettitte, and Clemens, I just didn’t want to believe any more of my Yankees were doing that stuff.
But alas, A-Rod tested positive in 2003. My problem with this is that, MLBPA was supposed to get rid of all this information. Why hold on to this info? Someone, knew exactly why… I think some one is out to get my Yankees.
Now, does that sound paranoid and psychotic of me? YES, but I honestly believe MLB is out to get my Yankees. Think about it, they hired Sen. Mitchell to do the steroid probe. Now, I don’t want to harbor hate for Red Sox fans, because there are some nice Red Sox fans out there… many read this blog and listen to my show… but Sen. Mitchell did serve as a director in the front office for the Red Sox until 2006. Seems like if Bud really wanted to be fair, he would have gotten someone who wasn’t tied to any team to conduct the report. Why Alex? If you are going to leak his name, you need to man up and give the other 103 names on that list!
Now, none of this excuses what A-Rod, Andy, Rocket, or Jason did, but I guess it offers me comfort. And to think, I bought A-Rod’s children’s book (Alex Rodriguez: Out of the Ballpark). It’s a great story for kids about how to work hard in order to capture your dreams. Alex details how he would get up at 5am everyday to get some extra practice in. I guess he forgot to mention the part where he shot himself up with steroids. Wow, that sounded really mean and cynical. But that’s what they have made me.
How could a team, how could a man who I look up to do this to me? To us? Alex was the one guy who I thought would make us all forget about the shady steroid era. But, I was wrong. I’m sick of this. Everyday it’s something.
Right now I’m mad, but I’m sure my anger will turn into the “Oh I feel sorry for him” blues. I do feel bad for him in a way. I know he did the crime, so he has to pay for that (albeit, he’ll be tormented by fans rather than be tormented by older men in a communal shower).
Alex is a lot like me, well other than the fact that I don’t have that kind of money, I’m not nearly as egotistical, and I don’t take steroids… We are a lot alike, we have to have approval from those around us. We care way too much about what people think about us.
I’m afraid this could be his downfall. Alex is like a tragic hero…
I’m worried for him and the Yankees this year. Can they get over this? Larry Bowa seems to think not. He was on the MLB Network’s special report today about Alex. He said that Alex is really sensitive and he lets little things bug him and this isn’t a little thing.
I’m worried… ok, I’m straight up terrified. I hope this goes away fast, although my heart tells me it wont.
FINAL WHISPER: Alex, just needs to do the following:
1. Call a press conference before spring training starts… (Just go ahead and get
it organized for Monday at noon).
2. Admit you did steroids in 2003. Say something to the effect of “I’m sorry I let my fans, teammates, the Yankees organization, and MLB down. I screwed up and I have to take responsibility for that. This is not something that I do anymore and I’m just sorry all my young fans had to figure out about this. I’m sorry.”
** NOTE: If you can work up some tears Alex, that would be great!
3. Hang out at the Boys and Girls Club during Spring Training or better yet, take Natasha and Ella out for a great day with Daddy… and let Harvey Levine’s gang know where you are.
4. Get over yourself and play ball…
5. Lead the Yankees to a 2009 World Series victory
…………….. And, all will be forgiven and forgotten
(at least Yankees fans will forgive and forget)
Baseball Nerdish as Always,