Dear God:

This is Brit, you know, the Yankees fan. I don’t know if you surf the web, but if you do… I’d like to write this open prayer-letter to you. I know you’ve heard this same dialog half a million times now from me, but I figure if I write it down and put it on this blog it will be on here forever and I can stop bothering you every day with the same requests.

God, I know I always say, “If you let the Yankees win this time, I’ll stop bothering you about sports” only to say it again the next day, week, or season. But this time, I’m serious… If you help me out with these twelve requests, I will stop bothering you with baseball prayers, I’ll help the poor, nurture the sick, whatever you want me to do…

1. I want to personally ask you to make this spring training go by fast. I’m sick of writing about Alex Rodriguez, steroids, shady cousins, and disappointed players and fans. This plea is purely selfish; true I want the best for Alex, but honestly…

I need something to blog about other than Alex. I also would like to get through an episode of A Show of Their Own without mentioning the “S-word,” (steroids). I think the faster these pointless (well pointless to fans) exhibition games are over and real baseball starts everything will blow over. The media will have a pennant race to write about, injuries to report, and quotes about the game to record. They will have little interest in steroids, at least that’s what I’m hoping.

2. I want to get back to baseball, the actual game, not all the off field drama. What ever happened to the good old days where baseball players were baseball players, not Hollywood celebrities with a gang of paparazzi surrounding them. I want to return to that time. Why does it matter who’s dating what model or who’s living’ it up in some club? That’s the players’ business, not ours. Sure, its fun to see a different side of the players. It makes me feel like I know the players on a more personal level, but I don’t think this celebrity worship is good for baseball.

3. Please give Derek Jeter the range, strength, power, and speed to play shortstop until he’s 100 years old. I just cannot imagine a world without Jeter at short. You allowed me to “come up” with Jeter, Mo, and Posada and so, I think it would be really cruel for them to be taken away from me.

4. Please help Girardi see that Joba needs to be in the bullpen, forever. He’s not a starting pitcher, not in the majors. Help Girardi, Cashman, Steinbrenner, and et. al. see that Joba can help us more if he comes out of the pen. It would make more sense to have Joba come out of the pen for 65 games or so and help us win games with his power pitching rather than him start for 30 games and get taken out after 3 or 4 innings because everyone knows what he’s got and he’s not letting the ball fly.

5. Also, God… Please help our young pitchers. Hughes and Kennedy especially. I really think they can be great starters for us down the stretch, but I want to see them in the minors to start the year. Make them earn their way back up to the majors with good old fashion hard work and scoreless innings. I know they can do it, they’ve done it before. Oh, also, please keep Phil Hughes in triple-A until July 1^st (you know why).

6. Please help Jason Johnson overcome his battle with cancer. He seemed to be working really hard to get back to the majors with the Yankees this year and I don’t want him to not be able to accomplish that.

7. Please help Edwar Ramirez gain some weight. It worries me to watch him pitch. If a line drive ever hit him square, he’d probably die. I think the ball would actually pass through his body… that’s how tiny he is.

8. Help Wang, Posada, and Matsui heal completely. If we want to win this year, we need them to be on top of their game! How cool is it that our Ace from the last few years is now our number 3 starter!

9. Please give Nick Swisher patience. I don’t know what Girardi has in store for Nick, but I like this guy. He’s like a miniature version of Giambi. Very spunky. I don’t want him to get discouraged and lose his charm and personality in the club house.

10. Help A.J. and C.C. fit in perfectly with the team, perform well, and stay healthy.

11. Make the New York Media realize that C.C. would like the dots in his name since, in fact, it is the initials of his first and middle names.

12. Help the Yankees stay healthy and help the Yankees win the division and the World Series for the next 100 years in a row.

You’ve given me and the Yankees so much in the past, but I hope you will find it in you some where to grant me these twelve requests. I know I’m not the only Yankee fan praying for these things, so I hope you will take the other Yankees fans’ prayers in to account to.

——– Amen.